Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
