how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So much rum. So many feels.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
