I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
