Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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