I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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