i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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