Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
