I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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