Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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