don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize