Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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