have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize