god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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