Nicole vs. Life
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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