Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
