yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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