She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
