Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
