Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
