Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
