Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize