I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
