I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
