So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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