i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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