Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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