idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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