That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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