I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
