she was so not down for the gang bang
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
