Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
