She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think your dad took our porno
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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