pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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