also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
