You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize