You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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