Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
