he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
