I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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