How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
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Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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