Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
