Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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