i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You did what with his pubic hair?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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