it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
