3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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