Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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