dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
