I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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