Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
