Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
