He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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