My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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