Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
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