just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
